I work in a bakery at a grocery store. The single thing that bothers me the most about this place, is the name. Food City.
All I can think about when I hear that name is, "Spatula City", from UHF.
Ring Ring...Ring Ring...
*Intercom across the store*
"Bakery, answer line 3, Bakery, Line 3"
(Insert southern drawl with each customer line)
Me: Hello, Food City Bakery, Can I help you?
Customer: Uh. Yeah. Um. I need to order a cake. (Then yelling at Fluffy their cat in the background)
Me: When would you like to pick that up?
Customer: Oh.. Can I get it tonight? (It's 3:00pm)
Me: (Wincing thinking... I can squeeze one more in, right?) Sure, What time would you like to pick it up?
Customer: In an hour?
Me: Sure, 4pm then?
Customer: Yeah. That works. (Still yelling at Fluffy in the background that climbed up on the counter.)
Me: What size cake did you need?
Customer: What sizes do you have?
Me: We have 1/8's, 1/4's, 1/2's, full sheets and 8" single and double layer cakes
Customer: Well, I only need something for 10 people.
Me: The 1/8th will feed about 10- the 1/4 will feed 20.
Customer: Oh, how about the 1/4?
Me: What flavor cake would you like?
Customer: Uh, I don't know, what flavors do you have? (Fluffy! I told you to stop chewing that! Bad kitty! Bad bad!!)
Me: Chocolate, White, Yellow, Marble, 1/2 and 1/2...
Customer: Uh, white. No, chocolate... wait. uh, maybe 1/2 white 1/2 chocolate.
Me: (Dreading yet another question) - What type of icing did you want?
Customer: What kind do you have?
Me: Whipped icing or Buttercream
Customer: Which one is the best?
Me: That depends on your preference. Some people really like one over the other. (Thinking... JUST PICK ONE!!)
Customer: Oh, whipped I guess. My cat is so crazy she likes to climb up and rub her face on the phone cord whenever I'm on the phone
Me: How did you want it decorated?
Customer: Uh, what do you have?
Me: (Wondering WHY people can't have their act together) What is this cake for? A party? A graduation? A birthday???
Customer: Oh, It's for my Mamaws 89th birthday.
(Mamaw... I can't get over that name for Gma)
Me: Would you like flowers on the cake? A kit? Or a party theme?
Customer: Well, what sorts of flowers can you put on it?
Me: Roses, Daffodils, Orchids, Irises, Mums, sunflowers, daisies, pansies...
Customer: Oh, roses I guess.
Me: What color roses would you like?
Customer: Fluffy! I'm gonna put you in the room! Is that what you want?? uh, what did you ask?
Me: What color roses would you like?
Customer:What color do you have?
Me: (Thinking, FOR THE LOVE!! I'm never gonna get your friggin' cake done if you don't finish up this phone call!!) I have a wide variety of colors, does she have a favorite?
Customer: Uh. Well, She used to like yellow I remember. She had curtains in her kitchen back when I was a wee thing and they were yellow.
Me: (Great!! We are getting somewhere) So, Yellow roses?
Customer: Yeah, that would look good. Do you think that would look good? Should we add something else?
Me: No, we will make roses and rosebuds and that will look great.Me: What would you like the cake to say?
Customer: Uh. Um. Happy Birthday. Hang on a second.. I need to put Fluffy in time out. She is crawling all over every thing. She just wants so much attention when I'm on the phone. She doesn't understand that I'm talking and trying to get a cake for Mamaw's birthday.
Customer puts me on hold and then returns to phone...
Me: So. you would like Happy Birthday Mamaw written on the cake?
Customer: Umm. No, how about Happy 89th Birthday Mamaw, Love your whole family, Way to go! You made it another year, here's to another!! Yeah. I like that.
Me: (Crap. A stinkin' essay.) *sigh* Ok, is there anything else we can do for you?
Customer: Nope.
Me: (repeating cake size, flavor, design, wording and price over the phone... I then hang up.)
30 seconds later...
Ring Ring..
Me: Food City Bakery, Can I help you?
Customer: Uh, yeah. I just called.
Me: Yes, I remember(how could I forget?!?), can I help you?
Customer: Uh, I think I need to change the size.
Me: To what size?
Customer: What do you have again?
Me: (Ready to bang my head on the wall...)
Mam, did you need something larger or smaller?
Customer: Smaller I guess.
Me: Okay, (repeating new cake design and price) I'll have that ready at 4.
Customer: Oh, and I need the other icing. And red roses, not yellow.
Me: Alright, I've noted your changes and I'll see you at 4.
Customer: Oh, I may not be there til late... I have to get a shower still. Is it okay if I get it later?
Me: Of course! It will be done at 4 and you may pick it up anytime after that.
The End.
2 comments:
Did you take a picture of this cake? :) And where on earth did you find "Spatula City?" That was hilarious.
I was about to pound my head against the wall too. Did you end up writing that whole thing on the cake? I'd like to see a picture of it too. That was a fun post, thanks for sharing.
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